The Piglet and the Porcupine

Well now the piglet and the porcupine
They was dancin’ cheek to cheek
The porcupine, she says “You dance divinely
But your chin is rather weak
And your body is just pink, pink, pink
From your nostril to your hoof
And if I had that tail of yours, I think I’d have it removed”

Why the piglet, he says “Your wiglet, y’know if you can call it that
Is just a mess
From the tip of your dress on up to the top of your head
I wish you’d keep your eyebrows lowered
Or keep your forehead plucked
‘Cause to dance with you, dear porcupoo,
It’s like trying to kiss a scrub-brush!”

Squeals of indignation flew around the spat
And caught the attention of the Honorable Mention Elder Statesman Rat
He said “Let’s put it to a vote, let’s put it to a test”
And the crowd came back with a resounding cheer
That voted them both a mess.

Well the lights went out, the music stopped
And the bodies flew thud-thud-thud!
The porcupine, she quilled the crowd
The piglet maimed with mud
And then at once, all through that din
The pig and the porcupine were heard to speak
Saying “Why, that’s what they get for butting in.”
And they danced off, cheek to cheek.

Album: If Pigs Had Wings

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