YEAH TOAST!!


Perry Had A Pimple

Perry had a pimple, was an acne zit
Started out real simple but the zit wouldn’t quit
No one really noticed, but Perry knew it was there
It was a blood-pore impaction
A bacterial action
It was just a little redness sittin’ right between the eyes
But a zit with an ambition is a danger in disguise

Momma said “Now don’t you touch it an the zit will go away”
But he locked the latch on the bathroom door and done it anyway
Tried a little Stridex, a smear of Clearasil
Even tried to Oxycute it but the zit he couldn’t kill
So he pinched it with his fingers and the tongs form near the fire
Then he really got serious with some channel-lock pliers

It was a zit! It was a zit! That wouldn’t quit…

Well in the middle of the night the zit began to plump
And it swelled up like a water balloon just pulsin’ on a pump
It pushed aside the nightstand, it pushed aside the chair
It went right through the bedroom door just like it wasn’t there!
Down in the kitchen you could hear the dishes break
When it sat down at the table and had a bowl of Frosted Flakes

It was a zit! It was a zit! That wouldn’t quit…
Oom pa pa oom pa pa oom pa pa mao mao ooo…

Well the Action-TV weatherman at his Doppler radar screen
Felt his pancake makeup crack at a sight he’s never seen
So the weatherman called the governor, on the governor’s secret line
He said “There’s a matter of municipal security that you should be aware of at this time
It’s a high-pressure center, half the city wide
With what appears to be a teenage boy hanging off one side!”

It was a zit! It was a zit! That wouldn’t quit…

Well the zit began to rumble; we all ran away
And what happened next post-traumatic stress just won’t allow me to say
But it was two townships over when Perry hit the ground
And do you know the cost to power-wash a small Midwestern town?
Now Perry’s on probation ‘til the day that he retires
He can’t have fried foods, chocolate cake, or channel-lock pliers

It was a zit! It was a zit! That wouldn’t quit!
Oom pa pa oom pa pa oom pa pa mao mao ooo…

Album: Picky, Picky, Picky


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