Not I

In the paper I read the newsflash
Oprah Winfrey likes takin' hot baths
Catherine Zeta-Jones likes bein' pregnant
Britney Spears admires Madonna
The metric system and blunt-force trauma
And they say Wayne Newton is finally eating solid food

Who gives a rat's
Lower digestive track?
Who gives a purple possum duodenum?
Who gives a swollen
Rodent colon?
Not I, not I, not I, my friend, not I

Liza Minelli once wore sweatsocks
David Hasselhoff goes on long walks
Frank Sinatra Jr.
I'm not sayin' anything about him
Christina Aguilera likes to stare at ferrets
And evidently Joan Rivers has had some plastic surgery done

Who gives a rat's
Lower digestive track?
Who gives a purple possum duodenum?
Who gives a swollen
Rodent colon?
Not I, not I, not I, my friend, not I

Album: Pretending I'm Not Home

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