YEAH TOAST!!


Dearest Mr. Santa Claus

Oh my dearest Mr. Santa Claus
I am writing you because
There seems to be a problem with your stash
You may or may not be aware,
Or even worse you do not care --
At any rate, there is no cause to laugh
I gave it to my mother,
A specific list of toys to bring around
But when I woke up Christmas morn
It was an obvious clerical error that I found

If you look on page number twenty-two
Under the heading of ďRocket PacksĒ
Thereís no way a personal jet-propulsion device
Could ever be confused with --
A BUNNY PUPPET??!!

Hello again, dear old Saint Nick
I really hate to be a stickler
But itís clear from here that things must change
With software advances and the Internet
You really canít delay in getting
Some elves that are more technically trained
I discussed this with my mother
Along with a list of toys to bring around
But when I woke up Christmas morn
It was a hideous clerical error that I found

If you look on page number twenty-nine
Under the heading of ďScuba GearĒ
Thereís no way a personal deep-water submarine
Could ever be confused with --
UNCLE WIGGLY??!!

Hi again, Saint Nicholas
Iím sorry that itís come to this
But someone had to bring you up to speed
Perhaps your management skills are rusty
But you really have to trust me
You are just not meeting your customersí needs
I was told by my mother
To let you know about this oversight
But Iíve been playing Uncle Wiggly with my bunny puppet
And I just havenít had the time to write.

Album: Picky, Picky, Picky


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