YEAH TOAST!!


The Cow Song

(Ah this is a song about cow's stomachs... I know you're saying "Heywood, that's so been done." Of course, the names of the stomachs, from front to back, are rumen, reticulum, omasum, and abomasum. That's the names of the stomachs...)

(Heywood gets audience to learn the chorus of "Rumen, reticulum")

I am a cow, four stomachs have I
In go the green grass, out come the pie
I eat a bale of hay, I do not stop
1 2 3 4 - plop plop

Singing rumen, reticulum
(Rumen, reticulum)
Rumen, reticulum
(Rumen, reticulum)
Rumen, reticulum, any way you face 'em
Rumen, reticulum, omasum, abomasum

Well the cows all gather on the lawn
Dressed in leather, up since dawn
To the store they won't be goin'
Don't wear silk, they got milk

Singing rumen, reticulum
(Rumen, reticulum)
Rumen, reticulum
(Rumen, reticulum)
Rumen, reticulum, any way you face 'em
Rumen, reticulum, omasum, abomasum

Where Elsie and Elmer disappeared
No one in this here herd has heared
So we done the only thing that we could do
We put Elsie on the milk carton and Elmer on the glue

Singing rumen, reticulum
(Rumen, reticulum)
Rumen, reticulum
(Rumen, reticulum)
Rumen, reticulum, any way you face 'em
Rumen, reticulum, omasum, abomasum

Now if you want your hamburger cheaper by the pound
Go to South America and burn the forest down
Set some cows a-grazin' and it wil pass
You get meat, milk, mudslides, and methane gas

Well, the cows such snippy comments make
Fatty potroast, stupid steak
"Hey that's my heifer you're talking about"
Another case of hoof in mouth

Singing rumen, reticulum
(Rumen, reticulum)
Rumen, reticulum
(Rumen, reticulum)
Rumen, reticulum, any way you face 'em
Rumen, reticulum, omasum, abomasum
(repeat)

Rumen, reticulum, omasum, abomasum
Rumen, reticulum, omasum, abomasum

Album: Pretending I'm Not Home


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