YEAH TOAST!!


Billy and the Mystery Box

Billy bought a mystery box, $39.95 shipped in from Taiwan
Standing in the grocery line, seen the ad in the Weekly World Press
In bold letters it said “MYSTERY! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!
IS IT DEAD? IS IT ALIVE?” The question marks, they rolled right off the page
Billy and the mystery, Billy and the mystery box

Talked his mother into it, told her it was a kit coming in from Taiwan
Spent a lot of sleepless nights waiting for the box to arrive
Well it finally came in a great big crate, C.O.D., three days late,
He signed the papers, couldn’t wait, smashed his thumb movin’ it into the basement
Billy and the mystery, Billy and the mystery box

Billy missed his supper, and he didn’t answer when his mama called him
The worry showed upon her face as she read a book by Judith Krantz
Walked over to the basement door, the light shone underneath onto the floor
She tried the handle, and once more, but it was locked from inside
Billy and the mystery, Billy and the mystery box

The house it shook
The somethin’ crashed
She dropped her book
The lights all flashed
Broke down the door
Ran down the stairs
But when she looked, the box was gone
And Billy wasn’t there!

(Ooh.)

The grass grows high in Billy’s yard, the house for sale and Mama gone to Tulsa
The wind it whips the paper by, it’s the want ads of the Weekly World Press
In bold letters it says “MYSTERY! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!
IS IT DEAD? IS IT ALIVE?” The question marks, they roll right off the page
Billy and the mystery, Billy and the mystery box
Billy and the mystery, Billy and the mystery box

Album: Treated and Released


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